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 Càìûå ñìåø

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Cawatorm
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PostSubject: Càìûå ñìåø   Càìûå ñìåø Icon_minitimeMon Aug 01, 2011 1:32 am

Ðàáîòàþ ÿ ìîíòàæíèêîì. Ïîäêëþ÷àþ þçåðîâ ê Èíòåðíåò ïî âûäåëåíêå. È âîò. Ïîëçó ÿ íà êîëåíÿõ ïî ÷åðäàêó âäîëü êàáåëÿ, ïîòîëîê íèçêèé, òåìíî, ïî óøè â ïòè÷üåì ïîìåòå, êðóãîì òîëüêî êîøêè äîõëûå âàëÿþòñÿ. Âäðóã, íàâñòðå÷ó ìíå âûïîëçàåò áîìæ óæàñíî ãðÿçíûé è âîíþ÷èé. Ãîâîðèò: - Ìóæèê, òû ÷å òóò äåëàåøü? - Èíòåðíåò ïðîâåðÿþ. - àâòîìàòè÷åñêè îòâå÷àþ ÿ. - À êîàêñèàë òåñòèë? - Äà òåñòèë! - À ëèíê íà õàáå ãîðèò? - Ãîðèò. - À ìàñòäàé ó þçåðà êàêîé? - 95-é, âðîäå íå ãëþ÷èò. - À ñåòåâóõà òðèêîìîâñêàÿ? ...È òóò ÿ ïîíÿë, ÷òî æäåò ìåíÿ â áóäóùåì... Ïèøó ïðîãðàìêó, ïåðåâîðà÷èâàþùóþ Norton Commander, âñ¸ êàê îáû÷íî, íî êâåðõ íîãàìè. Ïîäõîäèò, çíà÷èò, ïðåïîä è âûäà¸ò òàêîå: - Ñëóøàéòå, äåâóøêà, à ìîæåò âû äèñêåòó äðóãîé ñòîðîíîé âñòàâèëè? Ãîãîò ñòîÿë òàêîé, ÷òî äî êîíöà ïàðû ìû íàøåãî ðàñêðàñíåâøåãîñÿ îò ñòûäà ïðåïîäà íå âèäåëè... Âî âðåìÿ ëåêöèè çàõîäèò â àóäèòîðèþ ñòóäåíòêà: -Ìîæíî? Ïðîôåññîð: -À ïî÷åìó Âû îïàçäûâàåòå? Ñòóäåíòêà: -Âû çíàåòå ÿ â÷åðà ëåãëà îêîëî äâóõ è ïîýòîìó ïðîñïàëà? Ïðîôåññîð: -Íó, ëàäíî, ïðîõîäèòå è â ñëåäóþùèé ðàç ëîæèòåñü îêîëî îäíîãî.... Íà ïðèåìå ó âðà÷à: - Äîêòîð, ìíå òàêèå êîøìàðû ñíÿòñÿ… Ïðåäñòàâüòå: ãóëÿåò ìîÿ òåùà ñ êðîêîäèëîì ïî óëèöå. Çóáû îãðîìíûå êðèâûå, èçî ðòà òàê ïàõíåò, ÷òî âîîáùå óæàñ, êîæà çåëåíàÿ ñìîðùåííàÿ ñòðàøíàÿ, ëàïèùè çäîðîâûå ñ êîãòÿìè... - Äà, äåéñòâèòåëüíî, êîøìàð... - Äà ïîäîæäèòå, ÿ åùå ïðî êðîêîäèëà íå ðàññêàçàë! Ïðîäîëæàåì òåìó àíåêäîòîâ ... ________________
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